And she squirts. Look it up. I'm not going into it here, but it's the new thing in pornography: the outward and visible sign. Once, it was the money shot. The man ejaculated outside the woman's body to show he really was doing it. Now women must deliver the same proof. "Squirting", a semi-mythologised female ejaculation, is the new proof.
British Wendy is oddly antique, in the sense that there is at least a vestigial storyline. We are, after all, storytelling (and story-watching) animals. But there is little in the annals of storytelling analysis to help us. Aristotle's Poetics is disheartening; his tragic hero must have a certain nobility but not so much that we cannot empathise with him, and his downfall is both wildly disproportionate and tightly reasoned: cause and effect, entirely absent on Pornhub.com (where a woman can be transported by fellating a dildo), are essential to Aristotle, as is a strict sequence of events. I'm so distressed by the poverty of Pornhub that I want to cheer myself up by writing them out in Greek, but I'll resist; in Roman type, they are, in order, hubris, hamartia, peripeteia, anagnorisis, nemesis and (in the audience) katharsis. Do they fit? (see table)
So, no; Aristotle would seem not to work here, except vaguely in the area of katharsis and the less said about that the better.
But perhaps we shouldn't expect too much from Pornub.com as a narrative art. After all, even when they're paying for it, like a Minister's husband with a Sky Plus box, the viewing time is brief. How long, O Lord, how long? About twelve minutes (or inches, depending which side you're on).
But don't bother even looking. It's nasty, misogynistic, anatomically improbable, hideously normative of deviance (I'd hate to be a teenager now, frankly, in a world where 14-year-old girls wax themselves and give blowjobs, where boys think buggery is in the standard-issue sexual encounter), narrow-minded, narratively impoverished and unspeakably dull. One would be enough.
The technology of the internet was designed to stop us all being blown to buggery. Didn't work, did it?