---
title: "Race for the Papacy 2013 Sweepstake"
date: "2013-02-28T12:39:21+00:00"
modified: "2013-02-28T12:39:21+00:00"
url: "https://newhumanist.org.uk/2013/02/28/race-for-the-papacy-2013-sweepstake/"
post_id: 5711
categories: ["Uncategorised"]
---

# Race for the Papacy 2013 Sweepstake

![Pope and jockeys](https://newhumanist.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/images/Pope-Jockeys-pic41.jpg "Pope and jockeys")

### Cardinal Angelo Scola – 3/1 F

**Age**: 72

**Nationality**: Italy

**Pros**: A front-runner in 2005, lost out to Benedict XVI. Has written about “Satanic Rites in the Church’s Judgement”, so knows his enemy

**Cons**: Vatican expert John Allen has written: “If you like Benedict XVI, you’ll love Scola”. Erm…

### Cardinal Peter Turkson – 3/1 F

**Age:** 65

**Nationality**: Ghana

**Pros**: Joint favourite with the bookies. Pundits think it could be time for a black Pope, and at 3/1 the going looks good for the Ghanaian.

**Cons**: Not all that up for it. Reckons the first black Pope would have “a rough time”. In St Malachy’s Prophecy of the Popes, it is predicted that the election of a Pope named Peter will herald the End Times.

### Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone – 4/1

**Age**: 79

**Nationality**: Italy

**Pros**: Outspoken criticism of The Da Vinci Code suggests discerning literary taste.

**Cons**: Publicly blamed the child sex scandal on homosexual infiltration of the clergy. Advanced age may count against him after last Pope pulled up before finish.

### Cardinal Marc Ouellet – 7/1

**Age**: 69

**Nationality**: Canada

**Pros**: This Canadian hopeful once had a summer job fighting forest fires, a skill which may serve him well as Pope.

**Cons**: Thinks abortion is a “moral crime” even in cases of rape. Reform-minded punters may wish to steer clear.

### Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco – 9/1

**Age**: 70

**Nationality**: Italy

**Pros**: The Italian Cardinal will be expected to run well on home ground.

**Cons**: Needed an armed guard after comparing homosexuality to incest and paedophilia in 2007.

### Cardinal Gianfranco Ravasi – 12/1

**Age**: 71

**Nationality**: Italy

**Pros**: Thinks Darwin can be reconciled with the Bible, quotes Amy Winehouse on Twitter and says Church is boring.

**Cons**: Sounds like he’s in the wrong job.

### Cardinal Leonardo Sandri – 14/1

**Age**: 70

**Nationality**: Argentina

**Pros**: Well practiced – used to read speeches on behalf of Pope John Paul II in his final years.

**Cons**: According to insiders, he is more of an administrator than a theologian.

### Cardinal Péter Erdő – 16/1

**Age**: 60

**Nationality:** Hungary

**Pros**: One of the younger Cardinals in the race, this colt could stay well as older runners tire.

**Cons**: Is it too soon to race in the Conclave? Along with Peter Turkson, his name means his election risks fulfilling the St Malachy End Times prophecy.

### Cardinal Christoph Sch**ö**nborn – 16/1

**Age**: 68

**Nationality:** Austria

**Pros**: Wasn’t a member of the Hitler youth.

**Cons**: Once called for an open discussion of priestly celibacy. If not fitted with blinkers, sight of nuns could take his eyes off the race.

### Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga – 20/1

**Age**: 71

**Nationality**: Honduras

**Pros**: Viewed as a moderate; has stood up to oppressive regimes in his native Honduras.

**Cons**: Once claimed that, in order to divert attention from the Israeli-Palestinian crisis, Jews influenced the media to exploit the controversy regarding sexual abuse by Catholic priests.

### Cardinal Francis Arinze – 25/1

**Age**: 81

**Nationality:** Nigeria

**Pros**: If enthusiasm for a black Pope shows, Nigerian Arinze could come through to challenge Turkson in the final furlongs.

**Cons**: No spring chicken, may lack staying power.

### Cardinal Odilo Pedro Scherer – 25/1

**Age**: 63

**Nationality:** Brazil

**Pros**: With both the World Cup and the Olympics heading to Brazil in the coming years, can the man from São Paulo make it a hat-trick for the South American powerhouse?

**Cons**: Has said that “Priests aren’t showmen”. Does he have the flair for the big stage?

### Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle – 25/1

**Age**: 55

**Nationality**: Philippines

**Pros**: Hailing from one of Catholicism’s great global strongholds, Tagle would help the Church consolidate on firmer ground away from increasingly godless Europe.

**Cons:** At 55, a win for the youthful Tagle would buck the the trend, but does he have the strength to out-run the more experienced in the field?

### Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio – 33/1

**Age**: 76

**Nationality**: Argentina

**Pros**: A man of the people, renowned for his humility – lives in a small flat, does his own cooking and takes public transport.

**Cons**: Pros may leave him ill-suited to dominion over a vastly wealthy global Church and city state.

### Pope Formosus, the Pope whose skeleton stood trial in 897AD – 150/1

**Age**: 1,117

**Nationality**: Italy

**Pros**: Previous experience of the job

**Cons**: Dead – but if his skeleton was considered fit for trial…

### All of One Direction – 200/1

**Age**: 93

**Nationality**: Britain

**Pros**: Appealing to the youth. Instant fan base. Oh, and they weren’t members of the Hitler Youth.

**Cons**: One of them, probably Styles, will want to go solo before long. Schism alert!

### Bishop Brennan off Father Ted – 250/1

**Age**: Unknown

**Nationality**: Ireland

**Pros**: Would bring some much needed comic relief to the role.

**Cons**: Is a fictional character, but then…

### A horse – 500/1

**Age**: Unknown

**Nationality**: Horse

**Pros**: They seem to be getting everywhere lately. Fits well into this attempt at Grand-National-based humour.

**Cons**: Is the Church ready for a non-human Pope?