Shirley Dent: What would you stake your life on? Music or art?

George Melly: Neither. But if forced to choose, art.

Q: What are the perils of the art of autobiography?

A: Insincerity, touching up the picture to one's own advantage. False memories.

Q: Get real or surreal?

A: Surrealism never proposed the exclusion of reality and logic, but felt that we would be much advantaged if we gave equal rights to the subconscious, the lyrical, and indeed, within certain limits, our madness. "The only difference between myself and a madman is that I am not mad", Salvador Dali.

Q: The swinging 60s or the singing naughties?

A: Well, I suppose the 60s because I was then 30 years younger, and even so a little old for them. Nowadays it's all "will it sell?"

Q: Warm feet or warm heart?

A: Both I hope, and I'm glad to say my circulation is still working and I still feel for the bullied and the oppressed and the victims of tyranny, and I still love my friends.

Q: Humanism and all that jazz?

A: I don't see the necessary connection, although jazz implies a certain undisciplined anarchism. I remain completely faithful to humanism and will tell God so when I leave the building.

Q: And the most important question of all. Marmite — yes or no?

A: A definite yes, even the smell brings back my childhood. The taste is wonderful, only gentleman's relish surpasses it. Finally, I wouldn't jump back if a girl I was kissing had just taken a quick bite on her way through the kitchen. On the contrary... .