Top Six: Jesus Sightings
If the Lord moves in mysterious ways, then his son moves in downright weird ones. Jesus Christ’s inexplicable predilection for appearing in the snack foods of small-town America has become even more legendary than his early work in the Bible. It started small, toast mostly, the occasional taco or flatbread, but to get those column inches – and please the fans – one must up the ante. Christina Martin selects some of his greatest public appearances
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Have a break, have a ... Jesus: in his divine wisdom, the Son of God showed himself unto his flock in the form of a chocolate-coated wafer. For some reason.
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Be sure to keep your receipt: some people have criticised Walmart for staff abuses and predatory pricing strategies, but Jesus is not put off – he is notoriously forgiving after all – and has graced one of their store receipts with his holy face.
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Cheesus Christ! In a departure from the traditional face-only apparitions, Jesus has opted for a full body appearance here. Albeit as a Cheeto. When he said he’d come back in 2,000 years, I think we had all hoped for more than this.
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Jesus, we need to talk about boundaries: Jesus – or one of the Decepticons – shows up on a toilet door in a branch of Ikea. I don’t know about you, but I can’t go if I’m being watched. Shame on you, Mr Christ.
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From a toilet door to… a dog’s bottom: it was inevitable really. Next thing you know he’ll be appearing on Celebrity Big Brother.
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You either love him or hate him: Jesus settles the eternal Marmite debate by projecting his heavenly image on to the congealed lid of a jar. Now if only he could do the same for the Middle East peace process.
